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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824617">Graverobbing For Fun And Profit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugaplumvisions/pseuds/sugaplumvisions'>sugaplumvisions</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agender Azumane Asahi, Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, M/M, Multi, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:41:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24824617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugaplumvisions/pseuds/sugaplumvisions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanaka, Noya, and a reluctant Asahi deal with the ghost that's been haunting Yachi. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu/Tanaka Ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>SportsFest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Graverobbing For Fun And Profit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I don’t see why I have to be here,” Asahi says, their voice shaking slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need a priest. What if we need more holy water? Or a real proper exorcism?” Noya asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What Yuu is trying to say is that he hasn’t memorized the Rituale Romanum yet.” Tanaka snickers, climbs out of the hole, and throws the shovel to Asahi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exorciamus te, ominus immundus spiritus….Yeah, I’m lost,” Noya says, and shrugs. “It’s not important so long as you’re here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got it memorized,” Tanaka says, pointing at himself with a self-aggrandizing flair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I’m not actually a priest, right?” Asahi asks. “Like, they very much did kick me out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got three more years of seminary than anybody else here,” Noya says, and shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, what if I hit the coffin,” Asahi asks. They climb into the hole and begin shoveling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the whole point of this,” Noya says. “We steal the bones, we burn the bones, Yachi’s free of that damn spirit. At least you’re putting on a show.” Noya watches Asahi’s biceps bulge as they dig, and Tanaka wolf-whistles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t objectify me,” Asahi says. They sigh. “I hate the personal jobs. Strangers are easier.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just worried about Yachi,” Takana says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes I am,” Asahi says. “Shouldn’t you try to be quiet?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are technically grave robbing,” Tanaka says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s been dead for like seventy-five years,” Noya says. “Nobody uses this cemetery anymore. Nobody gives a shit.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Asahi says. The shovel hits something hard with a thunk. “Okay, that’s it, I’m out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scaredy-beard.” Noya laughs and climbs into the grave. “I’ll finish it up.” He’s completely engulfed by the hole, not even his hair sticking up above ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Asahi pushes themself up, and once they’ve levered a leg above ground, they’re offered a hand by Tanaka, who helps them scramble up and out of the grave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did fine, babe,” Tanaka says, and wraps an arm around Asahi’s waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, no love for me?” Noya asks. The shovel makes a godawful noise as it scrapes along the top of the coffin, Noya levering the last few shovelfuls of dirt out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I think you’re cute when you’re in ghost hunter mode,” Tanaka says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well once this shit is done with, you two owe me,” Noya says. “Aaaaand, there!” they say, the top of the coffin finally fully exposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Noya cracks the lid open, Asahi looks up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, babe?” Noya asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Asahi hums noncommittally. “I thought I felt a raindrop.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s ridiculous,” Noya says. “It’s clear, and there’s only like a five percent chance of rain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Noya speaks, the sky opens in a torrential downpour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ridiculous?” Asahi calls down into the grave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we’ve got to get these back to the warehouse then. Like, ASAP.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just what I always wanted,” Asahi says, looking a little green. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Asahi, grab the tarp from the van. Ryuu, get down here with me and help me throw the bones up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Asahi runs to the van and is back with the tarp in time for Noya to throw the skull up and out of the grave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeet!” he yells. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is not a time to be yeeting!” Asahi protests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you just, like, bless the cloud so the rain is holy water?” Tanaka asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No???” Asahi says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, let’s just get the bones out,” Nishinoya says, throwing out a few more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to touch a dead person today,” Asahi whines, but dutifully catches each piece of the skeleton in the tarp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They get the bones gathered up and drag them to the van, Tanaka following behind to make sure that not even a pinkie is lost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this,” Asahi chants as Tanaka drives at breakneck speed back to their warehouse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll all be over soon,” Noya says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna...call Yachi and check on her. To distract me.” Asahi dials up the numbers and puts her on speakerphone. “Yachi-chan! Are you all right?” they ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Asahi-san! I’m fine? Suddenly everything went away.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s goo--” Asahi’s cut off as Tanaka speaks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, is it just me, but was it not always so cold?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, fuck,” Noya says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How daaaare you dissssturb my body?” a voice says a few moments later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it qualifies as a body anymore,” Noya snarks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yachi squeaks through the speakerphone and Tanaka swerves as the ghost appears in between him and the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t crash!” Noya yells. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Asahi, panicking, grabs one of the water bottles of holy water and dumps it on the bones. The ghost promptly dematerializes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good thinking, Asa!” Noya says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can Ryuu please learn to drive from someone who isn’t his sister?” Asahi says, and lets out a long exhale of relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you guys okay?” Yachi asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re okay,” Noya says. “We just have to get to the warehouse and burn the bones, maybe roast some marshmallows. Then everything will be fine” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Marshmallows? Count me in!” Tanaka says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s disgusting,” Asahi says.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the drive to their warehouse is much less eventful, though once the bones show signs of dripping dry, Asahi promptly dumps another water bottle on them. Then it’s a simple matter of loading them into the furnace.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite their earlier protests, Asahi ends up eating a s’more. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you forever to Adri, Kou, and Kia, as well as Sin Central! Love y'all!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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